By Kanisha Parks
throughout social media, and I’m all the way here for it. As black women, self-care
is something we often put on the backburner, if we even make time for it at all.
We’re caregivers and caretakers—strong, hard-working, mothers, daughters,
wives, sisters, and friends. We’re out here grinding, trying to build something
we can be proud of. Some of us wear so many hats, it’s a wonder we ever get any
sleep, let alone find the time to give even a few minutes to ourselves.
As a single woman, self-care is no less important than it
would be if you were in a relationship. This is the time for you—getting to
know you, improving you, accepting and loving yourself for who you are and all
that you have to offer. When you don’t
have a significant other or children to care for, it may seem you should have
more time to embrace self-care but that isn’t necessarily the case. We all have
responsibilities, some greater than others, and someone or something is
constantly beckoning for our attention (even social media!).
you. Aside from the immediate gratification, self-care has several benefits
that affect your life as a whole:
1. Self-care helps
reinforce your self-esteem.
As a single woman, you have to take care of
yourself. I mean, who else is going to do it? But what’s more is, before
getting involved in a relationship, it’s important to have a firm foundation of
self. Incorporating self-care into your daily routine only serves to reinforce
your self-esteem, making you less likely to pursue a relationship for the wrong
reasons—such as, validation. Self-care is a way of reminding yourself that you
are important, you are enough, and you deserve to be treated as such.
Ultimately, you’ll be less likely to settle for anything other than being
treated like the Queen you are!
“Sometimes it feels easier to let others do our hard work for us. But at the
end of the day, learning how to lean into our self-love, stand tall in our
self-care, and understand that we too are capable of loving ourselves just as
hard as an outsider may, we have to show up. We have to do the work and become
self-aware. Even when it’s uncomfortable. Even when we don’t want to. No one
can love you like you can. Outside love validation feels good, it’s needed
sometimes. But that internal self-acceptance matters. Learning how to love
yourself when no one is looking or there to say “good job” is necessary as you
journey through life. Don’t let the fear of facing your truth stop you from
showing up for yourself in the way you deserve.”
2. You’ll be better equipped
to handle your relationships.
have multiple relationships in our lives with our families, friends, and those
we work with. Even though self-care is first and foremost for you, the act of
caring for yourself (or not taking
care of yourself) directly affects those around you. “Putting yourself first” is a concept that we’ve been taught to deem as selfish, when it’s actually an act
that shows you’re considerate of your relationships. You will be less
irritable, stressed, short, and sarcastic when you’ve had time to reflect,
release, and regroup. That’s what self-care does for you.
multiple forms of self-care, you’ll know what appeals to you. There are so
many self-care practices. In fact, TinyBuddha.com
has a list of 45 practices for the mind, body, and soul. It could be something
as simple as taking a relaxing bath instead of a quick shower, cloud-watching, praying,
or writing. Self-care is all about being intentional when life is constantly
beckoning for your attention to do something else.
Discover new practices that make you feel loved, refreshed, and at peace. Know
yourself, love yourself, and cherish self-care in your singlehood.
Do you take time for self-care?