Spoiler alert: Don’t read unless you have watched the first seven episodes of Hulu’s The Handmaid’s Tale.

This week’s episode felt like a real, live TV show, and not real live life! I am more in love with the show than ever, and I have many questions, so pop 6 bullets in your pistol and let’s hit the road.

Why is every single car in this episode wrecked? Is it some sort of metaphor for pre-Gilead America? I am confused. I know that there had to be a reason for Luke to escape, but isn’t it a weird plot choice for him to have one car accident and then later, in the same day, have his ambulance wrecked? Regardless, Luke has my attention.

2. The Wheels on the Bus.

I almost snorted when I read the sign on the bus, “Scarlett Woods Assisted Living.” Never was there ever a more obvious literary call out. Then again, I suppose that the book this series is based on owes much to The Scarlet Letter. Who is this fine-looking woman in an army green parka? Why didn’t we have more time with this ragtag Partridge Family? Honestly, I could do without the woman who doesn’t speak, especially when we later see that three years later she still doesn’t speak. To me, she seems like an unnecessary addition to an otherwise practically perfect series.

3. Chocolate Chip Pancakes.

Does benadryl actually make anyone so sleepy that they snooze through multiple car trips, a ride in the trunk, a police search and the general anxiety of every living human? Did June and Luke slip their daughter an adult-sized dosage? I’m onto you, Luke… with your percocet and your morphine! How cute was the pancake scene? But why in the world did they get comfortable enough to go outside? Don’t go outside! Never go outside! Hideouts are for hiding, not for frockling like you’re on a fun family vacation in the Catskills.

4. Oh, don’t worry about me. I’m just hanging around.

This episode is setting up a heavy duty war zone for season two. The scene in the church with Hot Parka Chick was creepy, like The Walking Dead without the zombies. Where is everyone? Did the government kill all the people and string them up? Did they all run to Canada? How can the writers have dispensed with 341,000,000 Americans?

The coyote at the border is not a very convincing asshole. The whole scene in front of the water felt a little hokey. Luke was forced to trade his good drugs and his wedding ring for safe passage into Canada, because, of course he was. It’s a metaphor. Amirite? The camera lingering on his ring finger felt forced and too familiar. Also, what the hell, I was not prepared for Parka Partridge to die. She seemed like a really cool character. I want more time with her! Is she coming back next season? Also, what kind of glowing bullets are the Guardians shooting? They look like roman candles.

Everything’s better in Canada. Just kidding! Everything looks extremely depressing and post 9/11-ish in Canada. The flyers on the walls of the US outpost were triggering. As Luke stood in the boardroom in between the Founding Fathers, I wondered how much of history have we lost by silencing the Founding Mothers? We also discovered in this episode that Luke does not have an ugly cry. Quite the opposite, actually. Luke has a very sexy cry. How can Luke be even more attractive when he’s crying?

What’s Offred/June up to now? Is she OK? Is Luke fooling around with the girl who doesn’t speak? Where is the daughter? Why are there empty stars on the American flag? I have so many more questions. I can’t wait for the next installment!

See you next week for Episode 8. Until then, I’ll meet you on Twitter.

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