Inbox -Victoria Brentwood – Wilmington, NC
Hi Marlee, My name is Victoria and I’m from Wilmington, NC. I have a knot in my stomach so big and full of disgust. My best friend of 19 years has totally done the most disrespecting low down thing ever. I trusted her with my life. My husband and I been together for 16 years, although we had our share of problems I love him dearly. I confided in her that I had cheated on my husband twice throughout our relationship amongst other things that I shared with only her. Last week my husband and I were having dinner and I noticed he seemed a bit bewildered, I asked him what was wrong and he kind of snapped. I then asked him if something was bothering him that we should talk about it. My husband told me “I want a divorce” he caught me completely off guard. I asked him why, He told me that my best friend told him I cheated on him and that I had an abortion; I did cheat on him but I never had an abortion. She also told him that I was no longer in love with him and that I was staying with him only for his money. I totally denied it of course. My husband believes her because she told him other personal things that I told her about us and he knows it’s true. Why would she do this to me, she has totally ruined my life. My husband has not touched me, looked at me or talked to me since. When I called her to ask her why she said she didn’t tell him that, how would he know if she didn’t tell him? I don’t understand how she could just flat out tell a lie when I told no one but her. Marlee what should I do to gain my husband’s trust and what can I do to keep from hurting my so called friend. I am not in a right way right now.
Response from Ask Marlee ~
Hi Victoria; It seems like your husband has made up his mind. One thing I’ve learned is you never tell you and your spouse’s secrets to anyone, he has to be able to trust you as he trusts himself. Your friend might be jealous of the relationship you and your husband has. You have to be very careful and mindful of whom you make your confessions too especially something as devious as that. Anything done in the dark will eventually come to light. You should try to get couples counseling, talk to your pastor or just go to your husband and beg for forgiveness. Your friend is indeed a backstabber or she may have told someone else and they told him; at the end of the day, your secret is out now it’s up to you to convince your husband that it never happened or confess and pray he forgives you. .
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