By Michelby Coco Whitehead
Teyana Taylor and her hubby Iman Shumpert are one of the cutest and sexiest couples I have seen in a long time. Her abs are on my summer wish list, and the Betty Boop inspired finger waves she’s been rocking lately compliment the heck out of her bone structure. In my mind, Teyana and I are gal pals, so I won’t lust over her husband too much… but I will say he is equally desirable as good credit. Daughter Junie is living proof that these two are having the best mattress gymnastics you can imagine.
|Teyana & Iman|
But when you really look at the dynamics of the young power couple, Stevie Wonder can see that it isn’t anatomy that makes their relationship work; it’s chemistry. Chemistry between two people can be based on a lot of things. Personally, for me, an attractive outer appearance will hook me, but ultimately, a man’s mind must reel me in or it ain’t happening! So, at 30-years-old being a sapiosexual has been a gift and curse. Hear me out.
Black Panther has been the highlight of 2018 for me and just about every Black person I know. I’ve seen the movie twice—with my regular bifocal vision and in 3-D. I’d go a third time if there was a significant other I could discuss all the layers and underlying messages with over dinner. But the way my love life is currently set up, that’s not happening right now! The men sliding in my DM’s are not on the level of thinking that critically. Either they have not seen Black Panther, or worse, they did see it and only think it’s a “good movie” …Tragic. Absolutely tragic.
Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not looking to discuss thermodynamics or even Russian affairs with my man. But there has got to be something more he can offer in conversation besides What did you do today? and Damn, you look good! I look at some couples and I wonder what the heck is the relationship like when they aren’t parenting, sexing or arguing? If it weren’t for those things, some couples would have no dialogue between them…Painfully tragic!
But there is hope for all of us girls who want a bond that is solid AND sexually satisfying. A friend of mine always says God sends what we need when we need it. In the meantime, we simply have to keep waking up and slaying in every other area of our lives — such as career, motherhood, and improving our communities however we see fit. Then just when we least expect it, BOOM! Here comes Common—fine, intelligent, and back on the market! If you’ve been feeling aggravated in your season of waiting, think about it like a quick weave versus a sew-in. Sure, the quick weave is a faster method to achieving the look you want, but the longevity and versatility of the sew-in is worth all the time you spend in the salon chair. In short, patience is still a virtue and someday, your prince will come if you can learn to appreciate the season of singleness that you’re currently in.
And just to be clear, before the Shumperts gave us a glimpse into their lives through reality TV, I was aware that they go through ups and downs like normal people. But after all the dust has settled, chemistry is still there. In my opinion, parenting and even wedding vows force people to stay together because “it’s the right thing to do.” At that point, you’re just going through the motions. Frankly, I’m not interested in doing anything for the sake of just doing it. I say show me chemistry, and I’ll show you a marriage that won’t be easy to break.
What’s most important to you in a relationship?