Iyanla Vanzant has an interesting take on marriage. She believes marriage isn’t an equal partnership and she would NEVER do it again. Do you agree? Sound off inside…
Life coach Iyanla Vanzant appeared on Tyrese and Rev Run’s new primetime series “It’s Not You, It’s Men” on the OWN Network recently to dish on relationships and marriage.
With three failed marriages under her belt, the “Fix My life” host told the guys she would never get married again. Ty prompted Iyanla with a question, asking, “If and when you decide to do it all over again—”
“Never!,” Iyanla yells out cutting him off. “I would never ever, ever.”
Rev Run followed up asking, “Why did you commit to the men early on?”
Iyanla admitted that she married the same man twice subconsciously in search of her father’s approval and then broke down what relationships SHOULD do for a person. She said:
“Relationships are not where we go to have fun. Relationships are where we go to heal and where we go to learn. And who you’re going to attract is the person that’s going to bring to the forefront the thing you need to learn or heal.”
Then, she explained exactly why she would never trek down the aisle again. She believes marriage isn’t an equal partnership.
“You know what?,” Iyanla said. “I would not be a great wife based on the definitions and the standards of today. I’m a great partner because I see my partner as my equal.
“One of things that happens in our relationships is we either pick up somebody who needs our help or pick up somebody that can help us. Love and pure relationship and commitment can only exist among equals. Cause if I see you as less than, I can’t commit. If I see you as more than I can’t commit. So today, I’m looking for an equal. And I don’t want to be a wife. I want to be a partner. Because wives have to do stuff that I’m not doing.”
Oh? We wonder what “things” a wife is “supposed to do” that Iyanla refuses to do.
Peep a clip from her segment below:
It seems more and more women of a certain status (i.e. Oprah, Shonda Rhimes) aren’t looking to be married, but more so in a partnership. What are your thoughts? Can marriage be an equal partnership? Speak on it!