|MC Tokyo Vanity|
By Lauren R.D. Fox
Louisiana female MC Tokyo Vanity, known for
her viral hit “That’s My Best Friend,” made her debut on VH1’s Love and Hip Hop Atlanta and caused a
bit of a stir on the internet recently. Earlier this season, the 23-year-old
New Orleans native revealed she’s a virgin and not ready to “play house” with
her boyfriend Tabius. During her confessional, Tokyo explained that she’s not
waiting for religious reason nor is she waiting for her wedding night, but
instead saving for herself until she is ready to be “knocking them boots” with
Tabius or whoever.
It helps give the single and coupled up
against an opportunity to discuss what they expect out of their sex life and
most importantly if they are solely participating in the activity for orgasms, babies or an audition for Cirque Du Soleil. Nevertheless,
Tokyo’s statement was filled with authenticity and practicality because if
you’re not ready to do something, well, don’t do it. Unfortunately, Class-A
social media critics believed there is another reason why Tokyo Vanity still
has her V-card.
“It’s because she has no other option,” one
commenter wrote under The Shade Room’s Instagram report of the rapper,
referring to her plus-size shape. Another person said it’s not surprising to
learn Tokyo is a virgin but it is surprising to see Tabius is faithful to her,
because if he’s not receiving sex from her, he must be receiving the ill-na-na
from someone else. This cliche reasoning is problematic because despite Tokyo
or any woman taking ownership of her sexuality and how she chooses to negotiate
it, people (will usually) water it down to a man’s needs and gaze.
I remained a virgin throughout college for a
number of reasons. The guys I dated didn’t want to deal with the emotional
ramification they believed came with having sex with a virgin. They believed
once they have intercourse with me (or any virgin), obsession will entail.
However, when our relationships dissolved, they would ask me if I was still a
“good girl,” or did I do the deed so they can be next in line. Keeping track of
my progress allowed them to fantasize about the “what-if” aspect and control
how much accountability they would accept. This totally erased what I wanted
out of the sexual relationship.
Women also subscribe to this mentality. A
college female classmate told me it was unfortunate that I was a virgin because
I have d-ck-sucking-lips (DSLs) and men love to be pleased by those especially.
Because fellatio is normalized as something that must be done, women rarely
voice that they may not like it or are totally grossed out by how their partner
taste. Though, there is much discussion on how women must taste like a variety
of fruits and their genitals should look prepubescent.
Next Top Model (ANTM) Cycle 24 contestant Sandra also disclosed on the VH1 network that
she is a virgin, as well. She, however, was not subjected to critique because
of her physical appearance. The Kim Kardashian lookalike received praised for being
able to “hold on to her purity” because of her striking looks and occupation:
an Instagram model. In numerous confessionals, Sandra revealed that people
rarely believe she’s a virgin or Muslim because of the connotation that
Instagram models are sexually deviant. Travel Blogger Laura Powell shared
similar sentiments. She says friends often try to persuade her to have multiple
sex partners because of her voluptuous shape. Powell also alluded that people
try to classify women’s sexual experiences or lack thereof based on their skin
color and overall behavior.
“You are a prize and you are a gift. Know your
worth and know yourself. What’re you rushing for? You’re going through the same
thing with men that a woman who’s having sex is going through,” Tokyo Vanity
told VH1 News Blog,
and that is a proverb in itself.
Is their a misconception that virgins who don’t fit a certain beauty standard can’t get it?
pop culture/beauty editor and writer who has an undying love for soca
fetes, poulorri, New Orleans and deep conditioners. After graduating
from SUNY Geneseo with a dual concentration in American and Black
Studies, she became a journalist and social media manager. Lauren has
previously written for MadameNoire, Mayvenn Hair, Wetpaint, Enstarz, Her
Agenda, Zora Magazine and B.Couleur Magazine. Follow her at @LOLOTHEFOX.