A mother-to-be who wrote an emotional post on Mumsnet looking for comfort after her friends shunned her baby shower found little sympathy.
Instead, those who read her post, which described how she felt ‘unpopular’ after her baby shower numbers dwindled, said they too hated the traditional US tradition of holding a pre-birth party.
Not holding back, readers of the emotional letter on the Mumsnet forum, said they found baby showers ‘tacky’, ‘grabby’ and ‘ridiculous.’
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A mum-to-be poured her heart out on Mumsnet after her friends told her they weren’t coming to her baby shower later this month…but the internet wasn’t sympathetic
User1483385529 admitted she was a ‘homebird’ but had expected more friends to accept her invitation to celebrate the birth of her first child
Increasingly common in the UK, the party in the last months before a baby is born seems to actually be many people’s idea of hell.
User1483385529 described her fears – and her tears – that not enough of her friends were making the effort to attend the party at the end of the month ahead of her first child being born in February.
She admitted she was ’emotional and probably overthinking’ wrote: ‘Bearing in mind people had notice and I only have a couple of friends with children, AIBU to be feeling very unpopular that hardly anyone is coming?’
The original post, by User1483385529, detailed her disappointment
…but there wasn’t much support on Mumsnet, where people seemed to detest baby showers
Then came the onslaught, as it was revealed that most people commenting on the post actually hated the idea of attending baby showers.
The saucily-named paulapantsdown started it off: ‘I’d be busy too if invited to a shower. Ridiculous events. You are not American! Go out for a nice lunch with your sister instead.’
holidaysaregreat chimed in: ‘Sorry but I think YABU [you are being unreasonable]. People will be expected to travel an hour, bring a gift? I would not fancy that. I would however be happy to send a gift once baby had been born.’
Hotbot said simply: ‘Cancel it , baby showers are ridiculous.’
All the rage, but only in America: plenty of people said they hated the fact the UK has adopted the tradition of the baby shower
Cold comfort: Many said they were judging the baby shower concept not the poster
coconutpie agreed the poster was being unreasonable, writing: ‘YABU – baby showers are tacky and grabby. You’re basically demanding people give you/your baby gifts. You should be grateful that anybody has actually said they’d come – I definitely would decline a baby shower.’
Gizlotsmum added she wouldn’t ‘fake fun’: ‘I don’t like baby showers and didn’t go to my sil’s. I love her but I just don’t do baby showers and would rather not go than fail to fake having fun…’
Some offered more comforting words, saying it was likely that people disliked babyshowers rather than the poster. One wrote: ‘It might be a judgement on the baby shower, rather than you. ‘I would be quite reluctant to attend one. I’d suck it up for my closest friends only (while secretly wonder what pregnancy has done to my previously normal friend).’
The pitter-patter of little feet is often celebrated in a party in the last months before a child is born
Support: Not exactly hard, is it! One person suggested that eating cake and celebrating a new life wasn’t quite as awful as some had made out it was
paxillin concurred: ‘It isn’t about your popularity. I have turned down all baby shower invites. I always turn up with gifts after the baby is born.’
RacoonBandit said: ‘I would not go to my friends baby shower but that does not mean I don’t like them it means I don’t like baby showers.’
Among the mountain of negativity, there was the odd chink of light. StealthPolarBear couldn’t see the issue, saying: ‘I’ve never been to one but would quite like to go. I don’t understand why people who would be quite happy to have a social get together with friends suddenly find it off putting when it has a specific purpose such as hen night or baby shower. Sit in a room with friends, chat and eat nice food. Why would that be so awful?’