By Mwabi Kaira

I  have never been interested in dating anyone younger than me. I’m talking two months younger and I’m disinterested. I’ve always preferred to date older, I’ll even go 15 years older. Recently, there has been a 29-year-old fella that’s been trying to get with your girl and I haven’t gone past flirting cause he’s 29. If we are calculating then he is only 10 years older than my son and the way my mind is set up, that’s all I’d think about if I ever agreed to his advances. Everyone has been telling me to get over it and get my cougar on but it’s just been one of those things I’ve refused to budge on until Keyshia Cole.

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Back in February, reports began surfacing that Keyshia had a new man on her arm and he was only 22. Keyshia is 36. As expected, there was a lot of judgment because how dare a woman do  what men have been doing for years. We watched Keyshia as a very cautious newcomer back in 2005; it was clear that she was closed off to love because of what she had been through and had a very tall wall erected around her heart. We celebrated when Daniel Gibson broke through that wall and got our girl to smile and experience love. Her hit song Sent From Heaven had a whole new meaning since that it appeared that it had come to pass. Love brought marriage and a baby but the marriage ended a few years later.

No one would have blamed Keyshia for retreating from love and erecting an even higher wall around her heart. Very few things hurt more than heartbreak especially when you go out of your comfort zone to let love in. It makes you wish you’d stayed within the confines of your safe wall and enjoyed the life you knew without being bamboozled. We’ve all been there, we swear off love and retreat back to our corners in fear of another love TKO. Eventually we soften our stance, it might take months or years but eventually someone comes along and makes us believe again.

Niko Khale is Bae

What intrigued me about Keyshia and her new young bae was how she introduced him via an Instagram post. Keyshia posted,

“Now the reason I’m posting The pepper to my salt @nikokhale is because he’s been such a sweetheart to me, and I know people have been very judgmental about our relationship but I gotta nurture what nurtures me.”

That nurturing line got to me and I clicked on his profile. Niko Khale is a rapper and I took a listen to his music. He was actually rapping about meaningful things and not just repeating the same line a hundred times. I could see his appeal and I’m happy for Keyshia and her openness to this young man has me rethinking things.

Don’t get excited, I’m not saying I’ll say yes the next time the 29-year-old hits my line but I am leaving my comfort zone and will consider dating younger, I’m thinking 35. Cut me some slack, I’ve gotta start somewhere. There are younger men out here that have themselves together and know how to treat a woman. As long as he is not expecting me to be his Mama, can nurture me, and bring something to the table, I’m open.

Would you date a younger man? How young?

Mwabi Kaira is an African girl navigating her way in an American world.  She is of Zambian and Malawian heritage and moved to the USA in 1993.  Writing has been her passion since she could put a sentence together on the page. Mothering her sons is her pride and joy.  She has been an avid runner since 2013 and has run 10 half marathons and a full marathon.  Keep up with her athttp://africanbeautifulme.blogspot.com/

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