There are a *lot* of online dating options these days, particularly dating apps. They all try to stand out in their own way, whether it be catering to a certain niche or type of person, or offering a special feature or service. But the one thing they all have in common: the promise to up your chances of finding that special someone.
EliteSingles is one of those options that claims to have found the online formula for love, particularly for working professionals looking for real relationships. We’ll see about that.
EliteSingles is pretty easy to operate. The site matches singles mainly based on a personality assessment modeled after the Five Factor Model theory. Based on your personality and other factors (like age, occupation, and location), the site then sets you up with 3-7 compatible matches per day. This means that unlike sites like OkCupid and Match, you can’t peruse the pool for potential love interests but instead have to wait until EliteSingles delivers matches to you.
Once you’ve matched with people, browse through their profiles. Your options for reaching out are diverse yet simple. You can send a smile (basically an emoji) that lets someone know you’re interested, a message, or simply save them to your “favorites” in case you’re not ready to reach out quite yet. You get variety in a simple, easy-to-use format.
While this could be good for those who don’t have the time to constantly scroll through a dating site and are looking for more of a matchmaker service, those who have grown accustomed to filling the time with swiping through an app in search of a date may become a bit antsy.
Personality profile based on Five Factor Model
Verified profiles (to eliminate frauds and scammers)
Partner suggestions (3-7 matches per day)
Send and receive messages to other members
EliteSingles Magazine: A blog that offers tips and tricks for dating
Not for millennials
EliteSingles seems to constantly brag that 82% of their members are college grads. Most of its members are 33-50 years old, so it’s definitely geared less toward the Tinder-using generation and more toward those in the “working professional” category. Sorry college kids. This ain’t for you.
I originally planned to scroll through the EliteSingles app (because it’s 2018), but upon looking for EliteSingles on the app store (I have an iPhone, like the other 45% of cellphone users in America), I noticed it was nowhere to be found.
After some quick research (aka a search in the iTunes store), I couldn’t find the app anywhere. Really, EliteSingles? Do better.
I resorted to using the desktop version on my laptop, which made me feel like I was taking part in the early days of online dating before apps made it more socially acceptable for young people to do this stuff. Although since the clientele for this dating site seems to skew older, perhaps the lack of an app isn’t the worst thing.
Making a profile
As if there were any doubt in my mind before, the profile setup process convinced me that we are far from the instant gratification world of Tinder. The EliteSingles profile building process — which includes filling in your basic info plus taking the personality test — is lengthy. But I can get behind a lengthy questionnaire. Its purpose seems logical: the more the site knows about me, the more likely it’ll be able to find me a good match, right?
However, filling out the personality test definitely raised some questions for me as far as accuracy goes. Not to mention, some were also repetitive — or just downright awkward to answer.
In one of the first sections, EliteSingles asks you to rate your own appearance in specific categories, asking how the following attributes apply to you: trendy, attractive, overweight, sexy, and plain. Since questions like these are entirely subjective (beauty is in the eye of the beholder, after all), it seems as though uploading picture should suffice. Shouldn’t my potential love interests be able to decide these things on their own?
Getting past the initial awkwardness, some categories raised an eyebrow in a different way. Questions that asked me to determine how “rational,” “opinionated,” and “selfish” I am seem difficult to answer.
Signing up for a dating site is all about trying to put your best self forward. I hardly believe that anyone — even those who are aware that they’re selfish — are going to put their bad traits on display if they can help it. It’s the equivalent of choosing the unflattering double-chin photo as your main profile picture.
I filled out the survey to the best of my ability, although it became especially tedious when they started repeating questions. The questions covered everything from my satisfaction with myself, to how I behave in social situations, to how important certain character traits are to me in a partner. All-in-all the whole thing probably took me 30-45 minutes.
At the end, I received a detailed character analysis, which admittedly was kinda cool. It also explained the context behind the analysis and how each of the five categories applies to my life.
One of the drawbacks for the EliteSingles personality test though is that once it’s done, you can’t go back and tweak it or adjust your answers. All is not lost though, because following the personality test you have an opportunity to showcase your personality through a series of (even more) questions — these ones you fill out so that others can see what you’ve said in your profile.
Choose from 11 different prompts and put however many you want on your profile, or you can hit “random question” and have the site pick one for you.
Aside from uploading some pictures — you can add up to 24 and connect to Facebook to pull pictures from there if you’d like — your profile is pretty much done.
What we love about EliteSingles
One word: Options.
Although the dating site doesn’t allow you to search willy nilly through all of its users, EliteSingles provides multiple ways to find you a match. The dating site provides you with three main ways to find someone:
Matches: Every day, EliteSingles recommends 3-7 matches that it feels are compatible with your personality. It’ll even show you how compatible you are (a score of 100 being a 100% match), as well as show you what things you have in common. We really like the fact that you can filter and narrow your matches based on height, distance, age, etc. So if you only want to see matches over 5’10” who live within 30 miles and have common interests, there’s a filter for that.
Visitors: EliteSingles let’s you know who’s been creepin’ on your profile. Hey, it’s like the online version of catching the cute guy at work checking you out as you walk by his desk. Something about you caught their eye and made them pay your profile a visit, which can help you feel a bit more confident making the move to say hello. It’s a lot easier to make the first move when you already know they’re interested.
The Have you Met… feature: We really like this feature. “Have you met…” is basically a pool of candidates that fall slightly outside of your pre-chosen match filters, but still might be a good match for you in the eyes of EliteSingles. Why is this feature so great? Simple. Because sometimes we just don’t know what the hell we want or need until it hits us in the face. You can make a checklist of traits that the perfect partner will possess, but do you really want to miss out on Mr. or Mrs. Right just because they’re a couple years younger than your selected age range? This feature gives that person a second shot at catching your eye.
Room for improvement
While we did appreciate the detailed personality analysis, we’re not completely sold on the accuracy of the results. This is mainly because people bend the truth when they need to look good. Perhaps we’d feel differently if someone were taking the Five Factor on their own out of curiosity, but setting up a dating profile is the time to put together your most impressive resume — not identify your personality flaws and tattoo them across your dating profile. People are filing this out knowing their answers are meant to make them appear attractive, so chances are you’re not going to risk sharing something off-putting before you even get out of the gate.
While we love the fact that you can filter your matches based on distance, we think EliteSingles could’ve done a little better than setting 30 miles as the lowest option. For some, a 30-mile difference is a considerable commitment — especially for a first date. The ability to narrow this down to a smaller area would be especially helpful for people who live in cites. Cities that are filled with professionals. We’d at least like the option to narrow it down further, to 5 miles. (Hey, the entire island of Manhattan is only 13.4 miles long.)
EliteSingles claims to manually verify their profiles to avoid fake accounts, using SSL encryption and fraud detection technology. While this may help them identify scammers, it isn’t stopping people from being dishonest on their profiles. I lied about my income and was never flagged, which makes me feel like I probably could’ve lied about other things, including my educational background, in order to seem more appealing.
While the EliteSingles personality test may be able to find out who you’re compatible with, it doesn’t focus much on who you’re attracted to. The heart wants what it wants, but EliteSingles limits you to seeing only profiles that could be potential matches. So if you have a “type” that EliteSingles doesn’t think you’re compatible with, you may be out of luck. The flip side to this, of course, is that if you’ve been unlucky in love, perhaps you could use some help with selecting potential dates whom you may not have considered previously.
What are other people saying about EliteSingles
After reading through scores of reviews, we definitely saw a lot of complaints. Many people claimed that their matches were way off from the criteria they set, with a significant portion of that relating to distance. Others complained of difficulties cancelling their membership and poor customer service.
Datingsitesreviews.com user Jjm wrote:
“Don’t waste your money!! I wish I had read the reviews before I joined Elite Singles. Anything but Elite. I too would only receive one or two “matches” a day. Most of these profiles had no photos and were over a hundred miles away! My profile was rarely viewed, and many times it was viewed by someone clear across the country and not the type of person I was looking for. Remember, you have no control. You can’t search or look up profiles. They also control who sees your profile. Customer Service is a joke. You cannot call anyone, emails are responded to days later from someone in another country. They are form answers that keep telling you how to use the website and “relax” your search criteria! This website is comparable to driving 200 miles away, putting a blindfold on and walking into a bar.”
However, among the dissatisfied users were some glimmers of hope. For example, user Deb from datingsitesreviews.com wrote:
“What can I say. I was a little hesitant at first as like eHarmony, Elite Singles supplies you with matches after you fill out a lengthy profile. I live in a fairly major city so a lot of matches were sent my way. […] This was my first try at online dating and overall it was a good experience. I have met several men through Elite Singles and am currently dating one of them now. I was hesitant at first as my girl friends have used other dating services with mixed results. They complained about scammers and the poor choice in men. I think you will find them on all services just like in real life. You just have to know what signs to look for and play it smart. […] In the end I am glad I choose this service.”
EliteSingles is far from a perfect dating site. On the plus side, it’s focused primarily on professionals who are looking for something real, instead of a lot of other dating apps that cater to younger, hookup-minded audiences. The site was easy to navigate and the personality assessment was a cool feature that helps you learn a little bit about yourself.
On the downside, the sign-up process takes a while. The fact that you have to fill out the entire test before you’re able to see what the site’s all about could easily be a deterrent for some eager or impatient singles. Requiring users to invest time in the personality investment though can help to weed out people who aren’t taking this whole online dating thing seriously. If they’ve carefully filled out a profile, then you know they’re serious about finding a good match.
Also worthy of noting: the free version doesn’t really get you anywhere. Without subscribing, you’re basically only able to see the fact that you have matches and/or messages. User pictures are blurred and messaging is super limited. Also, from what we can tell from reviews and from our own list of matches, EliteSingles doesn’t do the best job of abiding by your set criteria.
EliteSingles boasts over 13 million members worldwide, claiming that an average 2,000 couples pair off every month. Neither of those are small numbers, so if you’re willing to put in the time to fill out a profile and risk weeding through some less-than-ideal matches or an annoying customer service experience, who knows, you may land on a gem.